Change Environment…Change Attitude

I am affected by my environment. Actually, we all are to some extent. During the past couple of weeks I have been in the process of moving from one home to another. The house we moved from is a quaint cottage but it is very dark inside. There is dark paneling and it doesn’t get a lot of sunshine. I rented it furnished so that I could see if I was going to make the adjustment from the local church to this position at the jurisdiction. I realize now that this was probably a mistake.

First of all the dark rooms and paneling were not really my style. I need light and sunshine. Secondly the house was cold because there was no central heat and the windows leaked very badly. Lastly, the stuff there was just not my stuff. I am pretty much a minimalist and this house was rather over-furnished for my taste. All of this contributed to it not ever really feeling like home.

In the past couple of weeks I have retrieved all of my stuff from storage, rag tag as it may be. Gotten a new favorite chair from my brother…all fluffy and reclines to make it the perfect nap chair and moved into a condo that gets excellent morning sun and that is painted off white throughout. Essentially it is warmer (thanks be to God for central heat!), sunnier and brighter. It makes me feel better just being here, especially since all the stuff is my stuff. The pictures on the walls are my pictures. The furniture, sparse as it is, is my furniture. Suddenly coming home is something I look forward to rather than something I avoid. It has become my place to seek solitude and silence and listen for God to speak to me again.

Sometimes to change your attitude you simply have to change your environment. Changing where you are changes how you see things. Jesus understood this better than anyone. So often when the world pressed in upon him and the burdens of ministry became wearisome he retreated into silence and solitude. He changed His environment so that He could better hear God. When was the last time you shut down your computer, turned off your IPOD and listened to God whisper? It is time to change environments. I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty Cauley

Gracious God help me to come away, change my environment and seek to hear Your voice again. Grant me silence to listen and solitude to dwell in Your presence amidst the trials, struggles and busyness of my life. In the name of the One who so often went away to spend time with you, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

For my forty-first year I want to:

Live passionately
Love with abandon
Laugh loudly and often
Weep heartily to wash away life’s pain
Pursue significance over success

Lost in Grace,
Marty

REVOLUTION:

Worn out on church? Finding vibrant faith beyond the walls of the sanctuary.

George Barna

Here are some key points from a book IÂ’d recommend as a resource for those seeking to understand youngadulty! For more information on George Barna, his research, methods and services visit http://barna.org .

Lost in Grace,
Marty

Two Key components of Revolutionaries:

o They have no use for churches that play religious games.

o They pursue intimate relationships with God.

The Seven Passions of Revolutionaries (p. 22)

1. Intimate Worship

2. Faith-Based Conversations

3. Intentional Spiritual Growth

4. Servanthood

5. Resource Investment

6. Spiritual Friendships

7. Family Faith

The Seven Trends Characterizing a Movement (p. 42)

1. The changing of the guard.
2. The rise of a new view of life.
3. Dismissing the irrelevant.
4. The impact of technology.
5. Genuine relationships.
6. Participation in reality.
7. Finding true meaning: accepting sacrifice and surrender.

Transformation: a significant spiritual breakthrough in which you seize a new perspective or practice related to the seven passions; consequently you are never the same again.

Four Macro-Models of Church Experience (p. 64)

congregationl Model
House churches: some form of ‘simple church
Family faith experience
Cyberchurch

Jesus' Priorities that guide a Revolutionary (p. 75f)

o Obedience to God

o Love

o Justice

o Peace

o Holy Living

o Integrity

o Generosity

o Spiritual connection

o Spiritual wholeness

o Biblical literacy

o Faith in God

o Blessing people

o Disciple-making

Jesus'’ Character Traits that mold the Revolutionary

o Merciful and grace-giving

o Reconciliatory

o Diligent

o Teachable

o Courageous

o Accepting

o Surrendered

o Repentant

o Humble

o Servant-minded

Five Reactions to the Revolution (p.119f)

1. Ignore it.

2. Fight it.

3. Coexist with it.

4. Late adoption of it.

5. Embrace itÂ…become a revolutionary.

Blending your church and the revolution (p. 137f)

o Learn from the revolutionaries.

o Seek ways in which your church can add value to the Revolution

o Reflect on what it really means to belong to a church—your church.

o Figure out how to create more Revolutionaries among those who are aligned with the Christian faith.

Quit Yelling!

There will be more on this later but for today it is a quote I came across, again, in my reading that reminds me that love wins! Thankfully I remain:

Lost in Grace,
Marty

“In the form of bitter and threatening accusation spreading alarm and terror, the proclamation of the Gospel, even though it has made an impression, has never really reached the world or set it on the way of knowledge to which it should be called by the community. Without either deviations or reservations, its appeal must call men [people] to the rest and peace of God, inviting them to the feast which is prepared and thus summoning them to joy.” Karl Barth

2005 Lessons

I am turning 41 this week and have been mulling over the lessons I am learning from the past year. I say “I am learning” intentionally for I do not presume to have accomplished or even fully comprehend the magnitude of the lessons below. Some are whimsical, some profound, some are stupid and some are revelations that have occurred to me in moments of illumination. They are not in either chronological order or in order of importance, they just are…so here are forty one things I’m learning in my fortieth year:

1. God is still God.
2. All you have is today.

3. You don't have to be strong all the time you know...its okay to struggle and not to know.
4. A hug is better than a doughnut and a lot healthier.
5. Prayer heals.
6. Table manners are very important and eating is more about the relationship than the entrée.
7. Respect is a taught/learned value. It is not automatic.
8. People are more important that projects.
9. Significance is more important that success.
10. It is worth the risk of being hurt to let people get close to you.
11. Those you love the most will sometimes hurt you the most, even if they don’t mean to. It is worth the risk to love.
12. Never listen to country music when you are down.
13. Promises spoken are not necessarily promises lived.
14. You can’t buy love, you can only rent it. (from RENT the movie)
15. Even worthwhile work is still work. It should not take precedence over relationships and should be a priority, not the priority.
16. Grief is an inescapable process…just embrace it.
17. Authentic love is unconditional, unfathomable and unceasing and really only comes from God. We can only try to show it.
18. You cannot make somebody else love you. You are only in charge of your own feelings.
19. Being right is less important than striving to live rightly.
20. You should be careful about valuing vocation over relationships.
21. Every sunrise is God’s way of saying you get another chance.
22. M & Ms are the perfect friend maker.
23. I cannot control how others feel or what they do.
24. No relationship is perfect. It is what you do with the imperfections that determine the level of commitment.
25. Grief is an unavoidable process.
26. Feeling badly is better than not feeling at all.
27. Love really doesn’t go away, though it can be neglected.
28. Feelings are okay, crying is healthy.
29. Chatting is not really communicating and should never replace real interpersonal contact.
30. Eating badly yields feeling badly. Eat better, feel better.
31. Nobody’s theology is static.
32. Christians throw a lot of rocks.
33. Life has lessons in unusual places if you will just listen for them.
34. Love should always surprise you.
35. Never give up.
36. The less you have the less you want.
37. The best hugs come from five year olds.
38. Thankfully God give second chances even when people don’t.
39. You never know when the day will be that changes your ideas of the future.
40. You should not be so busy that you have to talk on your cell phone in the bathroom stall.
41. Friends love you even when you don't believe it!

Bumpily Ever After…

You know why I like the Shrek movies? Because they aren’t “happily ever after.” I love the introduction to the first movie where he is reading a fairy tell with its normal “blah blah blah” and then comes to the page about “happily ever after” and rips it out to use as toilet paper. The first time I saw that I almost caused a scene in the theatre because I was laughing so loudly. I knew then and there, I was an ogre.

An ogre is not a bad person. We over think and over process things (like onions), have tender hearts that we hide with rough exteriors and are usually not the best looking guys on the block. We are sometimes sarcastic because that kind of covers our sensitive side and we get our feelings hurt very easily. We have to spend time off to ourselves in our huts or caves but we do really like to have others around, no matter how much we complain about it. We take on big tasks for small rewards and try to do the right thing even if it is hard. We say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing and make mistakes...alot. On the bright side, we always go back for our a…donkey, we care deeply about a great many things and don’t mind hard work. Most of all, we know that happily ever after is for fairy tales, not life.

That is the problem I have with a lot of popular, media driven Christianity. The underpinning message is that if you believe enough, are spiritual enough, give enough and are nice enough you will have big bank accounts, nice homes and live the Christian version of happily ever after. What a bunch of BS (baloney sandwiches according to my friend Connie Shelton). Do these people read the Bible…I mean actually read it. The New Testament super hero, Paul, was shipwrecked, starved, beaten and eventually killed. Not exactly a career path with fortunes galore these folks proclaim. Does this mean that we are to extrapolate that the author of a huge chunk of Scripture got it wrong…heck no! He got it right! He understood that this journey of faith is about living with, for and in Christ and that sometimes that requires sacrifice. It means you don’t get to have the “happily ever after” that you have in your mind. It also means, and this is the best part, that God will always be with you, never abandon you and unveil to you your God-shaped destiny one day at a time.

So I’m an ogre who has give up on happily ever after. Oh well, at least here in the swamp I am continuing to realize the power of being:

Lost in Grace,

Marty Cauley

My Lord and my king, let me continue to pray, “Thy will not my will be done.” Amen

What Kind of Story?

There are times when I wish my life had a musical soundtrack to I could get a foretaste of what was coming up next. You know how that works in movies. The suspense music comes on when things are about to get tense. The sunshine music plays when all is well and you are walking through life holding hands with a friend. Mushy music comes on at mushy times, anger music when somebody is about to get mad. It is usually just enough lead time to get you prepared for what’s next so you can anticipate it. That would be awesome!

In the Lord of the Rings, Sam asks Frodo, “I wonder what sort of tale we’ve fallen into?” We, sitting comfortably in the theatre munching popcorn know what type of tale this is but those in the middle of the story don’t really have a clue. We can see the signs, feel the music get more tense by the moment, see the skies darkening. You don’t get to see that in your own story.

In our own story we don’t see the signs. We don’t see the coming challenges, don’t feel the impending losses or see that one you love will leave. We don’t get to know when joy will spring upon us or grief will overtake us, we just get to live the story out and see it unfold one month, one week, one day, one moment at a time. To be honest, I hate that!

I like a plan. One of my friends kids me incessantly about being the “plan man.” I plan what I’m going to do next, what I’m going to do six months from now, what I want to be when I grow up. My mind works in plans. I build entire worlds of preferred futures and then work on helping them come to pass. When my plans go awry, when my dreams crumble I am not a happy camper. I don’t mind adjusting the plan, that is why you have a plan, so that when the unexpected occurs you have something to fall back to and adjust, but the world doesn’t work that way.

Jesus tells a story about the farmer with the bountiful harvest who tears down barns to build bigger barns figuring he is set for life. That night all his plans get washed away as well, he dies. It really doesn’t matter what you are planning to do tomorrow if you die today.

How do you live in that tension between being wise and good stewards of your time and resources, planning for tomorrow without sacrificing the joy of today? To be honest I don’t have a clue. I have spent some time reflecting on “living like I am dying” as the country song says, but certainly haven’t mastered it yet. I struggle with practicing the presence of Christ in my life every day so as to get the greatest joy out of the simplest things but lingering in the back of my soul is the desire for a better tomorrow. It is in this tension, between today and tomorrow when I am most glad that I am:

Lost in Grace,

Marty Cauley

Gracious God give me, this day, my daily bread for that is all that I may be able to receive. Heal me from the pain of loss that I have suffered yesterday so that I may fully live today. Free me from the obsession with tomorrow that I might see the blessings of this sunrise and sunset. Help me embrace every day as Your day and as a gift from You, my Lord and my King. In Jesus name, amen.

Change and Struggle

There is no real, substantive change without struggle. Having had to sit through meetings for most of this week as the organization that I work for as they attempt redefine themselves as the enter into the next century it occurs to me that no real change happens without struggle. Struggle is never easy and sometimes does not lead to positive results, but it is inevitable. We all struggle, personally and corporately.

Struggle occurs as we continue to grow and change. Age brings change, and anybody who has gone through adolescence knows that growing older is another level of change. Change of location, vocation or relationship brings struggle. Often this struggle is both inside and outside. Inside your heart and mind strives to make sense of the change. Tears may be shed or joy experience, but in either case it is still a form of struggle. Outside everyone who has any contact with others understands that all relationships bring struggles. A constant renegotiation of the relationship is absolutely necessary. Any two people in relationship have to continue to work on that relationship if it is to last. This too is a form struggle.

Struggles also are part of our spiritual life. Throughout the Bible God’s people have struggled with God. Jacob wrestled with God at Penel, trying to get a hold of what God wanted from him. Paul, according to Acts, kicked against the prodding of his heart until Jesus got his attention on the Damascus road. God is a God of the struggle. God promises never to leave us or forsake us, even amidst of our struggles. That in our most isolated time, God is with us. Thanks be too God.

I am struggling on several different fronts these days. Professionally and personally my struggles have been many. Relocating to a new area, building new relationships, being so far from my loved ones, struggles in a very demanding career, extensive travel and times isolated from others due to that travel have all contributed to that struggle. The only constant is the presence of God in my life, even at times when I don’t feel that presence. I am weary of the struggle. I am ready for a time of stasis. God grant me a time to find an anchor. Until then, thanks be to God I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty Cauley, Pastor

Gracious God, I need a time without struggle. A time of respite and stasis. Abide with me as I strive to find peace, your greatest gift. During the season we celebrate your coming, come again and grant peace on earth, and let it begin with me. Amen

525,600 Minutes

On the way back from Durham we stopped in Asheville to see Rent, the movie adaptation of the very successful Broadway musical. I knew that it was a deeply written play about the inter-relationships of a group of people in Bohemian New York but I was in no way prepared for the intensity of the work. The driving theme was about the precious nature of life and how to measure the time you have and make the most of it. Again, it seems to me, that God is sending me the same message over and over again.

How do you measure a year? When you look back at the last twelve months? By what standard do you count the days you have spent? Do you measure it in laughter or love lost? In tears or fears or moments of pure bliss? There were times during the show when I felt hot tears on my cheeks and felt the love and the loss that was being portrayed so deeply it was as if I was part of the drama, and not just an observer of a motion picture.

The holidays always do this too me. Since I was a child I have always spent part of the holidays looking back to figure out what I was supposed to learn. What is it that you can learn from your heart melting into tears? What is it that can be gained by watching hundreds of young adults on the side of a mountain on a clear mountain night speak of things holy that God has done in their lives? What lesson from closing of a door you thought would always be open and from the opening of another quite unexpectedly? What great teaching lies in holding hands with a friend and just sitting in silence? What clear message from the voices of those crying in the wilderness? What have the last 525,600 minutes taught me?

By the end of the year I think I’ll publish a blog on the things I’ve learned this year. Right now a lesson I’m learning from Jesus and his relationships with those closest to him. It is worth the risk of being hurt to let people get close enough to you to see your flaws (not that Jesus was flawed…you know what I mean…). Jesus let people get close even though He knew that in the context of those relationships He would be betrayed and denied by those who claimed to love Him most. That is because He knew what we need to know, that real significance only comes from within the context of real relationships. I have been guilty of keeping people at a safe distance, not letting them get real close. Only in the past year have I begun letting my guard down and letting more and more people get closer and closer. It has been hard, but if I am going to make the most of the next 525,600 minutes it is essential. In the end, it won’t matter what kind of car I drive or how big the house I live in is, what will matter is who I have been in relationship with and how I have loved. The world changes one relationship at a time. Let’s change the world.

I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Life as a Chalk Line

It is funny how some things stick with you. I wrote in my blog on Sunday about walking by the crime scene and seeing the chalk line left over from the night before. How police officers were milling around the crime scene and how somber were the faces of those who had been caught up in the drama of life and death quite unexpectedly. I did not really think too much about it at the time but the images of the tortured faces and the starkness of the thick white line on the black pavement has hung around.

I woke up this morning around 2 a.m. wondering how my life would be different if I knew that tonight my life would be reduced to a chalk line. What if I knew that the things I did today would be the last things I would ever do? Who would I call and tell them that I loved them one more time? Who would I seek out to resolve difficulty and differences, what guilt would I lay aside and what joy would I pursue if I only knew?

The biblical metaphor for the fleeting essence of life is a vapor or a mist. That is the biblical equivalent of a chalk line. The scriptural author reminds us that life in all of its complexities and difficulties is not guaranteed, that it can be blown away with the changing of the winds.

I used to say that my goal was to have one thousand people attend my funeral. That it didn’t matter if I left this earth penniless if I had spent my last breath adding value to others, that would be enough for me. I really don’t care how many people show up to mourn my passing as much as I am concerned with living a life of significance. That is why I do what I do, because I believe in my heart that it matters. The investment of every sleepless night and endless day is worth it if one young person gets connected to God and discovers his or her God-shaped destiny. If the people I am in relationship with count it a blessing to be in relationship with me and I add some value to their life and help them live more passionately. That is a life worth pursuing. So, during this week of giving thanks I want to strive to renew my commitment to do the following…I want to:

Live passionately
Love with abandon
Laugh loudly and often
Weep heartily to wash away life’s pain
Pursue significance over success

Until next time I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Gracious God, I know you have called me to live a life of significance and I confess I often fail to seize the destiny you have called me to. Forgive me. Grant me the ability to be who You have called me to be. To let go of what it out of my hands, to embrace those who you have put in my path and to love without fear of loss. In the name of the One who lived and loved that we might fully live, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen

Morning & God’s Second Chances

I am a morning person. Though my schedule often does not allow it since most of my ministry carries me late into the night more often than not, I still love mornings. Mornings are fresh and new. Especially those late autumn mornings like this one when everything is cool and crisp. Leaves crackle under your feet as you walk and the air smells of winter that is just over the horizon..

I am on Eastern Standard Time while the rest of Nashville, where I am working this weekend, is on Central Time, meaning that I’m up an hour or so before the rest of the world. With nothing to do until noon in a strange town I just started walking. During this walk in the cool air I was reminded how wonderful morning walks can be. Everything is new. The sun, just peaking over the horizon, reminds us that God is always breaking through with a new dawn to overwhelm the darkness in our lives.

Mornings remind me of resurrection. I don’ t know about you, but I am always better after I have slept and when I allow myself to wake up without the troublesome noise of an alarm. No matter what happens the evening before, the sun always comes up and a new dawn is born. That serves to remind me that our God is a God of second chances. We get to start over afresh. It is not that what is before is gone, but there is at least the chance to reframe it and begin anew. Relationships that have fallen upon dark nights of their existence may be able to see dawn again. Hope that was lost in the prior evenings darkness can be restored with the warming grace of the Son. The light of the morning allows us to see things again in a new way.

Ironically, however, just as I was reflecting upon the awesome power of grace and God’s unending pursuit of resurrection in our lives I happened upon a crime scene. Just like the one’s you see on television with yellow tape, half a dozen police officers and a chalk line drawn in the middle of the street. The moment in time, carried over from the previous evening, was frozen. Cars were still in the middle of the road, nothing had moved since whatever happened, happened. For somebody it would not be a day of resurrection, it would be a day of trial. Some family had lost a son or brother. Somebody had lost a friend by an act of violence. Seeing the strain upon the officers faces and the pain of the bystanders standing over and against the beauty of the dawning sun made me cherish the dawn all the more. I prayed silently for those families affected by this event and desired to hold those I love more closely upon my return to them.

I want to take more morning walks. Spend more time savoring the power of resurrection. Listen more intently to God’s voice in the rustle of the leaves and see God’s face in the waking of the sun over the horizon.

God, grant that I may cherish ever dawn as if it were my last. Let me honor those I love with a love that is true, authentic and without condition. Help me to live and love like you love me. Amen

See You on the Journey

Native American speaker, Ray Buckley, was speaking at an event I attended this weekend and explained that in his tribe there is no word for good bye. They do not believe that any parting is final. Rather, they say a word, far beyond my ability to spell or pronounce, that means “I will see you on the journey.” Additionally, he went on to explain the concept for his people of the parting is the claiming that that person would be remembered. Not remembered in our modern understanding of simply recalling who they are, but as a part of who you are you are connected to who they are. To remember them means that they are now part of you.

Every person influences others. I once heard my friend Tim Elmore (www.growingleaders.com) say that even the most introverted person contacts and influences up to 10,000 persons in their lifetime. What if we too the two truths from Ray to heart. What if we really began to realize that every person we remember becomes a part of who we are? What if we really believed that no parting was final, there would always be another time on the journey when we would encounter them again? How would we then live?

Relationships are about remembering. We retell the stories of our meetings and partings as part of that process. By retelling and re-membering each story, we reclaim and restore that person’s part of our lives and incorporate it into us. We are designed to be part of one another. Relationships thrive when we are able to recount the positive stories with more passion than the negative ones. They dissolve when the negative stories overwhelm the positive. It is hard sometimes to embrace the best parts when the worst parts seem most evident.

Jesus had a similar understanding. In the service of communion we recall His words when we say “do this in remembrance of me.” What he was really saying, similar to what Ray explained about re-membering, was that when we did these simple acts we would bring Him present to where we are. Jesus shows up by the divine mystery. We practice the sacrament to help us to remember the best parts of our relationship with God. It is not that we do not struggle with fear and doubt, but that despite these “worst parts” God will loves completely. It is in these divine re-membering moments that God is most real to us. Where we are able to embrace the joy of Christ, to embrace the forgiveness offered in the divine sacrifice and seek restoration of relationship with God and others.

As I received the sacrament at this event, I knew Christ was re-membered in it. I began thinking of the relationships in my life and began reclaiming the best parts and releasing the worst parts because I know that every one of those relationships is part of who I am. I know that I will see them somewhere down the road, on the journey. That no parting is ever really final, at least so long as I remain…

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Do you know where you are in time and space?

I was allowed to sit in on a rehearsal at UNCA (www.unca.edu ) recently with my friend the director and observe her as she worked with collegiate actors. She may be one of the best coaches of young adults I have ever seen. They respond to her with enthusiasm and true respect. I am sure that comes from the vulnerability and authenticity with which she presents herself, her material and her direction. She aptly separates the critical direction of their performance from their identity. During the evening’s rehearsal, at every pause or scene change, she would ask a question that caught me off guard. Having done several plays and productions throughout high school and early in college I had never heard this type of centering used. It seems to me that it speaks to life as much as it does to theater. She would have them stand perfectly still for a few seconds, close their eyes and ask them “Do you know where you are in time and space?”

That is a question that could be used during any time of spiritual retreat. In the midst of crammed calendars and packed Palm Pilots we never stop to assess our global positioning. We do not stop and look around at the scene that is our life and determine where we are in time and space. What season are we in, where are we heading, what is God attempting to teach us by the circumstance and situation in which we find ourselves? Not only do we not assess where we are, but we do not take time to see where the others in our lives may be. Why has God brought this person into my life at this time? Why are we called during these days to journey together?

The author of Ecclesiastes reminds us that that for everything in life there is a time and a season. There are times to dance, sing, laugh, cry, mourn and dance. We are where we are because of God’s sense of time. Time is a demonstration of value. That which you value you invest time in. Time, being the only resource that is not replaceable, is your most precious gift. If we do not know where we are or stop and see what God is trying to convey to us we will squander God’s most precious gift.

Forgive me, gracious God for not stopping to assess where I am in time and space. God grant me the wisdom to reflect, the courage to assess and the ability to discern where it is that I am to be so that I can better hear your voice about where I am to go. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Life in Neutral…

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom…May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.” Psalm 90:12 & 17

Living life in neutral means coasting along without direction. I have met quite a few people this week who seem to be living life in neutral. They move through each day without passion or intensity. Life without fire or fascination is not really living.

A few weeks ago I picked up a rental car from our local Enterprise. They do a good job there and take care of me well, most of the time. My transportation plans changed at the last minute so I had to get a car on short notice. I was give a standard mid-sized sedan with one little problem, it would get stuck in neutral. Now the good news is that you could eventually get it into gear with a little “persuasion.” The bad news is that it preferred neutral. Neutral is the gear that you use when you don’t want to go anywhere or engage motion. It just sits there, or worse, rolls down the hill that you park upon. When you are stuck in neutral and can’t even go in park you have to park on flat surfaces and make sure you use the parking brake.

Just going along. People who live in neutral are those who just go along. They don’t have a plan, a goal or a calling. They haven’t stopped long enough to listen for God’s beckoning upon their life to do something bigger than they can imagine or they have stopped so long that they can’t get it in gear again. Now don’t get me wrong, we all need some neutral times in our lives. We need some time to rest and refocus, but that should be a time that allows you to get your feet back on the ground so that you can rediscover God’s call upon you and then put it back in gear and keep going.

I tell my students that if you find something to do with your life that you would do whether they paid you to do it or not, then you have found your calling. That is my passion in life, helping others discovers their calling. Unveiling the call that God places upon their heart that gives them meaning and purpose in life. God is continuing to unveil God’s plan for my life. That is the amazing thing about God, the plan is never done! The plan is always unfolding.

The past couple of months have been a rough patch in my journey. The temptation to get stuck in neutral was very real. Thankfully I have people who pray for me and continue to push me to keep seeking God’s presences and listening to God’s voice. If you don’t have those people in your life, open yourself up for God to provide those voices into your life.

What’s next? I’m not sure. I mean I have a multi-page to do list on two different legal pads (a future blog will focus on to do lists…working title is “I’m a Yellow Fellow…lol) so there is plenty to do. The key is to divide the important from the urgent. God help me focus on the urgent.

“Lord help me faithfully to journey along my road, holding my rightful place in the great procession humanity; help me above all to recognize You and to help You in all my pilgrim[age].” Michel Quiost

Today’s Prayer: My Lord and my King, the One who defines me, focuses me and refines me by fire guide my steps, direct my paths and unveil your will for my life. Allow me to correct my course as I go into the future. Put those around me who You have chosen to share the journey with me and help me to recognize them when I find them. In the name of Jesus who continually shows me the way I pray, amen.

Authentic Love

God has an interesting way of getting through to me. When I am supposed to be getting a particular message God delivers it through a myriad of methods. That is probably because I am so hard-headed. It takes repeated assaults on my soul before I actually start hearing what God is saying. That is what has been happening with the concept of authentic love.

My counselor, the smartest woman I have ever met, says I have a problem understanding love. I just don’t get it. Especially authentic, unconditional love is a difficult concept for me. I have spent my entire life trying to earn and deserve love, as such I have a hard time receiving love that comes without conditions. I thought I was alone in this until I picked up Donald Millers’ book Blue Like Jazz and realized that it is a pretty common situation.

Authentic love is completely counter-cultural. As a matter of fact, in our “you get what you deserve” culture, it seems almost impossible. When I read Romans 12:9-16 I begin to see God’s model for real, authentic love.

Authentic love is essentially three things:

Unconditional: there are no strings put upon authentic love. It is love that loves despite strife and struggle. It is Hosea who demonstrated God’s love by loving his wife who had become a prostitute and then brought her back into his home and restored her fully. It is love that dies to self so that God can be glorified. It is love without expectation of repayment.

Unceasing: “Love never fails.” It doesn’t stop. It has to be expressed. It beats in your chest with every heartbeat. God demonstrates this by allowing the Holy Spirit to be with us continually. We are called to love and continue to love despite doubt, fear, tribulation or “feeling.” By “feeling” I mean that we love when we don’t feel like loving and when we don’t feel lovable. Authentic love never stops.

Unfathomable: authentic love is not measurable by human scale. It is God-sized because it is God-given. The authentic love we are called to live comes as a response our reception of God’s love. We do not have the ability to earn it and we do not deserve it we just have to receive it.

So what keeps us from receiving and living authentic love? One thing I struggle with is faults, my own and others. My own faults convince me, in the dark nights of my soul, that I am unlovable. They become barriers to vulnerability and intimacy. I hold back. Those faults lead me to see faults in others which are used to act as excuses to avoid intimacy. I have a lot of acquaintances but few real close friends. I am learning to let more and more people in and it is risky business. The risk of rejection hangs out there. Face it, most people prefer the façade to the real thing. I am learning that those who stay by you, no matter what your faults, really demonstrate authentic love to you and allow you to “get it.”

There are three ingredients that I see in authentic love:

1. Truth: being real, authentic, unguarded is essential. Truth is a hard concept because it means we have to be real with ourselves first and then let others in.
2. Openness: being known is a key ingredient. It is easy to pretend to love if you don’t let anyone in. Sometimes when you let them they see too much and draw back. Don’t ask me how to handle that? I don’t know except that you keep being open and know that authentic love is worth any price.
3. GRACE: accepting undeserved love of God and others is the primary ingredient upon which all others hinge. Love is not a debt to pay but a gift to receive. It is something we crave, will do anything to get and don’t have a clue what to do with it once we have it.

Lastly, about authentic love it is intentional, requires vulnerability and demands humility. Three words our culture really does not embrace. It is intentional meaning it is done on purpose. It is a conscious, continuous act of the will. It is the decision to love in spite of circumstance. It is vulnerable because it puts your heart out to be broken. It is humble because it requires a “others” mindset. Realizing that, as Miller states, we are not the star of our own movie with others as supporting characters. Rather, we are players in God’s great passion and living according to God’s purpose.

I have experienced authentic love. I doubted it. I struggled with it. God give me the ability to recognize it and receive it again. Then, like Paul exhorts in Romans, I will be able to “live in harmony.” Thanks be to God that I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Gracious God, grant me peace. Grant me the ability to give authentic love. Love without condition, expecting nothing, dying to self and thereby fully living in the purpose you have for me. Amen

Please Note: Three streams have fed this meditation. One is my recent study of Barth and Barlett and theology of forgiveness and love. The second is Donald Millers’ book Blue Like Jazz. Lastly, the message presented by the core group of Evergreen Community Church in Raleigh on Oct. 30, 2005.

Tough Days

The last seven days have been really tough. I have not only been on the road for most of them, had a blow out on I-85 at 70+mph and nearly crashed my car, I have been through one of the toughest transitions of my life. Life is about transitions. Scripture is about transitions. The world does not remain static.

Somebody I once knew was fond of saying, "Today ain't like yesterday, but you get to determine your tomorrow." Refining tomorrow is what the Christian journey is all about when you boil it down to brass tacks. Not just the "Sweet by an by" tomorrow, which is important, but the tomorrow of our reality. The tomorrow we have to live into. We serve a "do over" God who allows us to open each day as a day of possibility.

Don't you hate it when somebody tells you your own advice back to you? My friend Pam has told me multiple times in the past few weeks to "speak it into existence." To allow the words of my mouth to take hold in my heart. Not to get discouraged about the multiple strands of my life that seem to be unraveling and pulling me apart. She encouraged me realize, here she goes again, that "God will work it out because we are God's people." Wow, I give good advice, to others! I hate to take my own medicine, but she is right.

I am impatient. It is a character flaw. I look for the shortest line in the grocery (and never seem to get in it), I get antsy when I have to wait too long. I don't like it when my plans go astray. This week when my tire first blew I was upset that I'd be late, then I realized how close I came to really crashing my car. It tipped up enough to feel like it might roll over on I-85 and traffic was horrible. It is a wonder that I did not smash into another vehicle. As I stood there with trucks going by at close to 90 mph it dawned on me that it is God's schedule, not mine. I believe I have a vision for my life, given to me by God, of God's preferred future. Right now it does not seem to be working out. Actually, it seems to be going in reverse, and I hate that! I want to get to where God wants me to go, but I guess I want to get there by my plan. I hate it when my plan doesn't work...but it isn't really my plan is it? Aaargh!

I get to be part of God's plan. I don't get to make God part of my plan. It is God's plan so guess what? It is God's timing. So, on I-85 I began, let me say that again began, to give the plans I had for these multiple strands of my life over to God, for God to handle in God's time. One of the great metaphors for God is a weaver, weaving so many cords together to make a beautiful blanket of life. It is a blanket whose most important threads often come with pain and struggle, the two things our culture wants to avoid, but cannot. So now I wait for God to weave and try give up control. I began to embrace not being in control but letting God be in control. I began to live the life I want to live, no the life God's wants for me, which is:

Lost in Grace,
Marty


Gracious and loving God who is in control, help me be out of control and give you control. Help me give up my tendency to try to control others and control outcomes when all I can control is my willingness to give control to you. Amen

Word for Today: Perservere

To endure, especially when encountering difficulty and trial. Whenever I hit a hard spot, and I've been hitting a few of those lately, I return to one of my favorite passages to meditate upon:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders, the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverence the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so thatyou will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3

Hebrews 11, as I'm sure you know, is a list of all the OT saints. The beauty about them is that they were all a mess! God uses broken vessels to carry living water! Does that ever cease to amaze you? It doesn't me. We are broken...but usable.

The one word meditation for me today is "persevere." It will be my breath prayer as I seek the face of God. If you are limping, let me encourage you to join me in that prayer.

Have a great day! Keep the faith! I give thanks to God that despite my sin and struggles I remain:

Lost in Grace,
Marty

Summer 2006 Theme!

Go to www.sejumc.org for more information!

Reflections by the Lake…

Studies at Serenity

The following blogs are a spiritual enlightenment journal that I wrote will spending time in solitude and silence at my brother’s retreat at Lake Gaston. The post is long because that area is not served by wireless internet so I wrote each post and then cut and pasted into a single blog at the end of the reflection time of the first couple of days...perhaps more will come later.

Wednesday October 19, 2006

What is it about the moon?

What is it about the moon? Lovers kiss by it. Tides roll in by it. Farmers plant and harvest by it. Sailors navigate by it. Most of us just sit and look at it when it is like it is tonight.

Sitting on the shore of Lake Gaston tonight with a nearly full harvest moon hanging above the water like a silver ornament dangling in the sky, I wonder, what is it about the moon? The night is clear with the faintest hint of a breeze. The sky is painted deep blue with the softest whispers of clouds scattered about. It is a sight almost too beautiful not to share. It is a night that begs for a hand to hold as I stare at the moon. But here I sit, just God and I talking about relationships, ritual, reality and grace. Actually, as usual, I’m doing most of the talking.

While the beams of soft light dance across the rippling water I poured my heart out to my Creator. I wonder if He hears, don’t you? Why would the affairs of one so limited concern the One so omnipotent? Yet, here I sit, claiming two thousand plus years of faith teaching as I cry, “Abba!”

Then the “why” questions come…why me? Why now? Why not? Why God? Why? God just listens, as God always does. No easy answers given. No quick formula for success. Just the listening of an omniscient God hearing the struggles of a wayward child. A child clinging to the hope that he is…

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Do you ever just stop?

Lead me beside the still waters, restore my soul.

Do you ever just stop? Stopping is not my spiritual gift. I am guilty of believing activity breeds accomplishment. I am wrong. Activity really just breeds more activity.

I am soul weary from the pace of my life. There are times when doing good needs to give way to Sabbath rest. Where activity for activity’s sake becomes drudgery rather than ministry.

I guess I see this now because I find myself at a place of forced reflection and self-awareness. Five years ago I would never have stopped for four days to read, write, journal and reflect. I was too busy doing to focus upon being.

I have done nothing today. That is, from a consumerist, capitalistic frame of reference, I have done nothing. I have not produced a single widget to be sold at a profit. I have not manufactured or marketed a single thing. I have not worked my way steadily down an ever growing ‘to do’ list so that I can visibly see what I have done. As a confession, I have been up since 7:30 a.m. It is now 1:45 p.m. and I am still in my Superman pj pants and oversized ‘Big Dog’ t-shirt sitting by the lake. I have just remembered to eat lunch (peanut butter sandwich and milk if you must know). I have done nothing, nothing that shows anyway.

What I have done is more internal than external. I have prayed and written prayers. I have journaled page after page of reflections on life and love, fear and failure, hopes and heartaches, dreams and desires (I love alliteration!). I have come to points of revelation. I have struggled with conviction. I have embraced grace again and for the first time. I have pondered what it is to let go so that I can receive. I have meditated on what it means to be ‘out’ (meaning exhausted or empty) of control and let God be God! I have read and been read by the Gospel writers.

Today I have done nothing, I should do nothing more often…because something is being done in me. Thanks be to God I was lead to stop, so that I could remember what it is like to be:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

No moon tonight. The clouds have rolled in, the wind has picked up and the moon has disappeared behind a bank of dark clouds. No stars tonight. Like the moon their luminescence is shrouded with a blanket of darkness. But the moon is there, even if you don’t see it, and the stars still shine. Knowing they are there does not keep you from missing them when they are not present. I remain, in the dark and…

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Friday, October 21, 2005

Words…

I woke this morning with words on my mind. I love words if they capture the moment. Here is what God is doing in my life:

Reframe; restructure; rework; rehash; reconsider; redo; reinstate; resurface; release; reevaluate; renew; redeem; refocus; reestablish; refresh; reconfigure; reconstruct; reconcile; reform; redevelop; revolution; redesign; redirect; restore;

I told a friend the other day that all of the perimeters of my life are being shifted at the same time. There is not any part of my life left untouched. While I am sure great things will result from these seismic shifts, they are not easy. I am just holding on and waiting for the tremors to stop. I am:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

All You Have Is Today…

Those five words hit me like a brick. Sometimes you hear something over and over again but don’t really hear it until the right voice says it. Part of the thousand plus miles I’ve traveled in the past week took me to Georgia, again. Instead of keeping Hampton Inn in business I stayed with my cousin Jennie. Everybody needs a Jennie in their life.

You ever had anybody who loved you not matter what? Loved you even though you weren’t perfect, in fact loved that you weren’t? Somebody who was always on your side, knew all your trash and acted like a cheerleader no matter what? That is Jennie. We were discussing failures and flaws, sins and shortcomings, life, loosing and love. Most of all we talked about regrets and mistakes. Essentially what happens when you are so focused on your past problems that they are keeping you from living today, and then she said those words, “all you have is today.”

You see, Jennie is my hero. Several years ago she almost died from a severe attack of Crones disease. She spent most of the holiday season, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, in the hospital. She said she remembered praying, “don’t let me die in front of my daughter, don’t let me go until my husband is spiritually strong enough to raise my baby…” Wow, that is the prayer of a mother isn’t it? She survived but still deals with Crones every day and will for the rest of her life. It is terminal, it never goes away.

When somebody with a terminal illness tells you something about living life, I have learned, it is best to sit up and listen. Jennie lives each day like it will be her last. She and Jeff are people of modest means, living in a small, rural town in north Georgia. They don’t have expensive cars or lavish luxuries; there is an above ground pool, sometimes the next door neighbor’s chickens wander into their yard and the big deck that they call the “Redneck Riviera.” But no one on earth is richer than Jennie. She knows a lot about living and a lot about dying.

She told me that day that to live always worrying about what others are thinking is like not living at all. God gives us a new day, every day, to make up for the messes we made of yesterday. Then she said, “You can only live today.” It is not that you are exonerated from yesterday, but that living only happens in the present, you have to seize joy at every chance. Regret, according to Jennie, is the demon that steals today’s joy and tomorrow’s happiness.

Paul wrote to “run the race set before you…” Read that again when you have a chance. The only race you can run is the one you are in today. John Maxwell says we exaggerate the past, overestimate the future and undervalue today. I can’t go back and change my regrets, decisions or failures. I can only learn from them, make course corrections and do my best to live today. Thankfully, I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Discovering Destiny and Doughnuts…

I love doughnuts. After loosing about 100 lbs. in the past eighteen months, they have been something that I have forsaken for the cause of better health. But like every red-blooded American, I believe that Krispy Kreme is one great institution of culinary excellence! The other night I was in KK for the first time in recent memory, drawn in by the demonic “HOT NOT” fluorescent sign. I decided to give into the temptation this once since my being near this small part of heaven was obviously providential.

As I waited for the doughnuts to come down the conveyor belt I was once again fascinated by the machine that turns cake dough into sweet morsels of manna. The machine was made for that one particular purpose, to make doughnuts. It can’t manufacture widgets or make candy, it only makes doughnuts. That machine if fulfilling its central purpose for existence. As I watched it work I thought of the continual existential questions that continue to mold my lfe…

o Why am I here?

o What difference can one person make?

o What is my real purpose in life?

o What is next for my life?

o How do I know what God wants for me?

This came after the previous day when I had sat in eleven hours of meeting, essentially my version of purgatory. As I sat there and worked hard to solve a myriad of problems, make plans to do things to reach more youth and young adults with the life transforming message of Christ, I could almost hear God whisper in my ear, “this is why you are here.” Suddenly I began to realize that everything I had done up to this time has prepared me for the job God has for me right now. That all of the jobs I have had from working at the Piggly Wiggly in high school, to my most recent ministry position with a struggling church plant, had all contributed to the base of knowledge that I carry with me. God’s hand has been with me the whole time, moving me along toward my God-shaped destiny.

Seasons of questions yield moments of revelation. I called my friend with that realization. It was like I was hit with a divine brick…I had a V-8 moment (wow!). Just like the doughnut machine was made to create doughnuts, I was created to be right here, right now. God’s will is a continually unfolding story. It is not a destination, it is ongoing travels of a spiritual journey that is never finished. Every road leads you to the next, prepares you for the next and allows you to navigate the difficulties ahead with the experiences of the past.

Am I finished asking existential questions? As Paul wrote in his epistles, “By no means!” Asking questions is what leads to precious moments of revelation. These moments of divine destiny discovery are worth the struggles of the times of questioning, and an excellent excuse to stop for doughnuts! I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Theology of the Rear View Mirror…

I have driven a lot in the past ten days. Literally thousands of miles up and down the major highways of the southeast and I have to admit, I am exhausted. As I was driving I began to take notice of how much time I spend looking in the rear view mirror to keep up with what’s going on behind me and to see where I have been. Most of us don’t really use our mirrors as much as we learned to in Driver’s Ed. Remember those classes when we would diligently look back every few moments so that we could drive defensively? It is really amazing what the image in the mirror, the reflection of what is behind us, can teach us.

I am beginning to develop a deepening theology of the rear view mirror. That is hard for me to admit. I have always considered myself a leader and a leader constantly looks forward. We are always looking toward the horizon, trying to understand what the future holds and how we can best prepare for it. I am learning that the best way to prepare for the future is to learn from the past. Two things are certain: first, we rarely see God’s hand when we are in the middle of a struggle and God’s presence is right in front of us and, secondly God is most evident in the rear view mirror.

When we are struggling with situations, decisions and the overwhelming challenges right in front of us we wonder where God is. How many times in my life was I in the middle of the toughest times and felt that God was no where to be found? During the past year being separated from my daughter, starting a new position with incredible challenges and moving 250 miles away from my family all took their toll. There were days when I thought I had been abandoned by God or that when I took this ministry over I had answered the wrong call. Maybe God got the wrong number? It has literally been just this week that I have really began to live into the fact that God has called me to this time and place to do a work that all that has gone before has lead me to.

Looking back it seems so self-evident. God has been preparing me to be where I am. The people I have contact with, the resources I use, the things I’ve read all have converged to help me design ministries for youth, young adults and youth/young adult workers. Even having two progressive teen-agers who constantly challenge me to think differently help me grasp what their struggles and concerns are, under the surface. I can look in my spiritual rear view mirror and see how God has worked in the past year to break my old ways of thinking, acting and reacting and prepare me for a new level of ministry. God has prepared me for new relationships, new opportunities and is revealing a new vision that I would have never been ready for a year ago. Thanks be to God.

So what are my application points. Three things stand out:

o Reflection is important! Spending time thinking about where you have been allows you to be truly present in the here and now. Reflection can best be defined as seeking God’s presence in past circumstances. Listening to God’s whispers to you by God’s past actions. Reflection provides clarity.

o Process the past. Processing the past keeps it from interfering with the future. If we fail to process the past, the doubts and fears of the past hold us back from living in the “now” and preparing for the future. Process out loud, in a journal, with a friend, but process. It is amazing what you will see once you look back with a searching eye.

o Learn from the past. There are people in my life that repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Why? Because they fail to learn from the past. Reflecting is essential, processing is important, but until we learn from our past we can’t grow past it. Learn!

God is teaching me a lot about rear view mirror theology. Hebrews 11 reminds us that we stand on the shoulders of giants! God’s people have a forever history that prepares us for a forever tomorrow but we can only serve God in the today. A glance back helps us live now! Thank God I continue to be:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

Initiating Change…

Change is a difficult thing! Having worked in a mainline denomination that is known to be change resistance I have come to realize that there are some key steps to initiating change that must be followed to insure acceptance. Now change is always hard and some people will never accept that change is needed but as we seek to reach more and different people for Christ we must change our methods while still clinging to the foundations of our faith.

Here is my plan for initiating change:

o Define core audience that provide financial viability

Somebody once said that a leader is two steps ahead of his followers and a prophet is ten steps ahead, and they stone prophets. In business, and even more importantly in ministry, you have to know who you have! You have to understand the context from which your ministry is grounded. Take some time and define who it is that provides the core of your existing ministry. Understand the locus of your center. This will allow for you to take the next step…

o Define target audience that will take you into the future

Once you know where you are you can define where you are going. A map is a wasted piece of paper until you know your current location. Then you can define destination. Step two involves defining target audience. The word “target” makes some church folks uncomfortable, but that is usually because they don’t want to admit that if you aim at nothing you will hit it every time. Define who it is that God is calling you to reach. Be specific. Write a description of the people that God is uniquely putting in your path to share the message of hope with. Once you have a clear picture, begin making friends with these people. Hang out where they hang out, move them in your understanding from abstract to actual, then you are ready for step three…

o Help core understand target

This is tough. Finding a way to communicate missional objectives to those who aren’t concerned with actual mission may be one of the toughest jobs in ministry. I have found that helping them understand the ministry target in terms of their family is most effective. Ask about their children or grandchildren (even better!) who don’t share their faith. Help them put a face on the people your church is uniquely positioned to reach. Again, moving them from abstract understanding to actual relationship is essential. Then…

o Interpret, interpret, interpret…

Every opportunity that arises, interpret the target to the core. Use pictures, stories, portraits of faith, [1] and anything else that helps core become burdened to reach the target. Once you begin intentionally seeking these opportunities they will become abundant!

o Initiate change

The key concept in initiating change is that my idea may be good, but your idea is better, at least in your eyes. Now, more than ever, it is time to get out of the way and let God work. As you begin to open up conversations about how to reach this new segment of people God is calling you to, if you have done your work, the core will have far more ideas, some more radical than you ever imagined, to implement. Resistance will be lessened (it is never gone completely) and by making it their idea, acceptance is increased. Change becomes the natural result of their burden to reach others.

Most of these lessons have been learned the hard way. Thankfully, God’s love abounds and I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty

---

[1] A portrait of faith is a three to five minute testimony where somebody tells what God is doing in their lives right now. Not a recounting of their faith story, but a place where they are meeting God today. Brevity and intensity are the key concepts in a portrait of faith.

The Joy of Doubt

I used to be so sure. Everything was black and white, right or wrong, inside or outside. Life was clear, like a streakless sliding glass door. Then I woke up. Somewhere in the process of my ever-maturing faith the world got complicated. I started to doubt some things, then everything, but there is a joy in doubt.

I grew up in churches and denominations that only taught absolutes. To question the pastor or leader was akin to heresy. Rigid systems of behaviors molded my spiritual understandings that, to this day, plague me. As I grew older I began to realize that even those who taught these “truths” often did not follow every precept of their teaching. It was forbidden to dance, but you could smoke? Smoking doesn’t cause cancer? If the body was the temple of the Holy Spirit shouldn’t that have been forbidden as well. But, oh, I see, if tobacco farmers or their families are part of the congregation, and give money…

I remember when doubt started to creep in. I was fifteen, I really felt a strong call to ministry but I was in a Pentecostal church. My gifts were affirmed, the pastor had prayed over me and even said that God had laid it upon his heart that I would proclaim the gospel, but I had never spoken in tongues. I never experienced the effect of “glossolalia.” How could this be? I studied, prayed, went to church on Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday evening. I went to the altar almost every service, I felt God’s presence, but “it” never happened for me. Then I did the forbidden, I began asking questions. In the asking I found more questions, more ambiquity and less certainty, but I also found a God who allows questions.

Jesus said we could move mountains with faith the size of a mustard seed, which is actually as small as or smaller than a grain of sand. The good news about that statement is that isn’t a lot of faith and I really don’t want to move mountains, I just want to know Jesus.

Do I still doubt, YES. Now more than ever. But there is a joy in the doubt. One of my favorite professors, the late Dr. Thomas Langford once said, “God can handle your doubt because God believes in you.” Isn’t that great to realize? Especially if you are like me and have a hard time believing in yourself. The joy in doubt is also the realization that life is hard, complicated and often confusing. God knows that. My questions don’t bother God. Look at how many times Jesus didn’t answer the question, instead he simply asked a question. I will keep doubting, struggling and clinging to my last flicker of hope because I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Getting Lost…

We got lost. On the way to the Catalyst Leadership Conference (www.catalystconference.com if you would like to go next year which I highly recommend) we missed an exit, got turned around, went through a toll booth, had to turn around, go back through the toll booth and finally found our way. The next morning on the way to the arena, we missed a turn, had to turn around find the street and find our way again. It dawned on me how much like life that trip was.

I often say my favorite turn is the U-turn, but theologically and functionally. Every day we have the chance to turn around. To make course adjustments. To redirect our life and begin again. That is the story of the Gospel. God giving me (and you) a chance to get a divine “do over.” The chance to make a life U-turn. I think God for the chance to begin again.

You know the best part of being lost, is to be lost in community. I was lost with friends and our combined ability is why we are not still driving aimlessly around Duluth. What one could see the other had missed. Traffic was horrible, it was raining, people were rude but between the seven of us we were able to negotiate the obstacles, laugh at the situation and find our way. I think that is like life as well, you should always travel in community.

We are not meant to travel alone. We are meant to travel together so that we can watch out for eachother and let, in loving accountability, eachother know when we need to turn around. The key word there is love, because otherwise it is just me yelling at you or vice versa for not living life the way I percieve you should. The love allows us to realize that the other person in the community is actually more important that we are. Our desire then is to help them find their path and an amazing thing happens, our path also becomes clearer.

So next time you take my favorite turn (the U), don't get upset or frustrated (eventhough I probably will). Just smile and realize that sometimes everybody needs a little course correction and thank the friend who helps you make it. I remain:

Lost in Grace,

Marty